First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage

Then what? .... baby stroller??

When you’re of my age and about to get married, everyone in your circle of friends or family gains interest in your baby-making schedule. My reply of “I’m not ready to have kids”.. (and the occasional next sentence of “I’m not even sure if I’ll ever be”) is always met with shock, followed by long list of rationales as if to save me from myself before my eggs fossilize.

I think about how nice it is to fly off to random countries with friends on a whim (I still have the whole wide world to cover!). I think about being able to spend a day shopping without time constraint. I think about impromptu dates as and when our heart desires. I think about teasing my husband-to-be on the kitchen table in any given day (not that I’ll ever blog about this). And I think about where all those things will go if we have kids. Pretty much have to be put on hold for the next eighteen years at least.

To all mothers and mothers-to-be, I give them my highest respect, because I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t make the sacrifices they make. I think about the demands of a child – physical, emotional and financial, and I fail to imagine myself doing it. Not yet, anyway. So what’s wrong with me? I don’t know. I am simply incapable of all that. But I do know that getting married because you want children is not good enough reason. Does wanting to spend your life with your loved one have to come with kids as bonus?

Society, in general, does not know what to make of people who do not want children, or people who are not sure one way or another. Procreation is part of life cycle; sort of like a blueprint to be followed! Maybe one day, my biological clock will be ticking out of nowhere, but I’m not counting on it. For now, I intend to live my life to the fullest without thinking about it.

The choice, I feel, deserves support and respect.

*this is a massively personal post - I’m only putting down my thoughts trying to understand my own shortcomings and indecision and meant no offense to anyone.