When you’re of my age and about to get married, everyone in your circle of friends or family gains interest in your baby-making schedule. My reply of “I’m not ready to have kids”.. (and the occasional next sentence of“I’m not even sure if I’ll ever be”) is always met with shock, followed by long list of rationales as if to save me from myself before my eggs fossilize.
I think about how nice it is to fly off to random countries with friends on a whim (I still have the whole wideworldto cover!). I think about being able to spend a day shopping without time constraint. I think about impromptu dates as and when our heart desires. I think about teasing my husband-to-be on the kitchen table in any given day (not that I’ll ever blog about this). And I think about where all those things will go if we have kids. Pretty much have to be put on hold for the next eighteen years at least.
To all mothers and mothers-to-be, I give them my highest respect, because I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t make the sacrifices they make. I think about the demands of a child – physical, emotional and financial, and I fail to imagine myself doing it. Not yet, anyway. So what’s wrong with me? I don’t know. I am simply incapable of all that. But I do know that getting married because you want children is not good enough reason. Does wanting to spend your life with your loved one have to come with kids as bonus?
Society, in general, does not know what to make of people who do not want children, or people who are not sure one way or another. Procreation is part of life cycle; sort of like a blueprint to be followed! Maybe one day, my biological clock will be ticking out of nowhere, but I’m not counting on it. For now, I intend to live my life to the fullest without thinking about it.
The choice, I feel, deserves support and respect.
*this is a massively personal post - I’m only putting down my thoughts trying to understand my own shortcomings and indecision and meant no offense to anyone.
On my drive home from work one rainy night, I saw Ewan McGregor staring back at me.
The parfum brand didn't register at first, but I definitely noticed Ewan McGregor.
Seeing him reminded me of the TV series “Long Way Round” and the follow-up series “Long Way Down” that I managed to watch in Perth (Yup. 2 months later, I’m still onto what I did in Perth). The series documented the journey of Ewan McGregor and fellow actor and friend, Charley Boorman on a motorbike ride from London to New York through Mongolia and Siberia and the travel from Scotland all the way down to South Africa. Why would I be interested in a biking adventure? I usually can’t stand documentaries, but watching the series was a thrill ride. You don’t have to love motorbikes to appreciate it. If you’ve ever wondered what it must be like to pursue a dream and then turn it into reality, then you’ll enjoy the series.
Ewan and Charley are seen as real people here. Ewan impressed me as being a pretty down-to-earth heartthrob that he is. And Charley has a great sense of humour. They made a perfect team. The warm friendship, the moments of hardship, their endurance, the amazing cultures and beautiful countries they crossed made up to the whole adventure being so interesting. I’m especially in love with the open skies, the landscapes, the great sunrises and sunsets.. but mostly the space!
In the 2nd series, Long Way Down, there is the thorny question of Ewan’s wife, Eve, wanting to briefly join them on their journey, without having ever ridden a motorbike before. My dear fiancé was dead against it, accusing her of being a burden. But if you take a step back and look at them again, one must admire her determination to learn riding a bike and enduring the hard journey though short to have these shared memories with her husband. My impression of Ewan moved a few notches up after this for the love he has for his wife as not only was he not resentful of Eve’s decision, he genuinely wanted her to join him in his adventure too. One can imagine them later, grey-haired, kicking back and reminiscing this journey that they shared. Awww..
The journey and docu could come off as self-indulgent - famous rich boys having a bit of fun, especially given that they are trailed by a support team (including a doctor). But otherwise, they are not pretending. This is what I like most about the series. And yes, I think both Ewan and Charley must be really nice guys and great husbands, entirely based on having watched both the series.
